As humans we have been taught that emotions are, well, yeuchy. Best not felt, ignored, pushed down or distracted.
As children we are taught by our parents and teachers, who were taught by generations before them, through teachings, life experiences and beliefs, that feelings were to be pushed down.
My parents and their parents grew up through wars. So feeling grief, confusion, anger didn’t put food on the table.
Survival was top of the list, with no room for emotions.
They were taught to ‘keep calm and carry on’. Which really meant pushing down their fears and all emotions, even pretending these parts of themselves they didn’t exist. Everything was fine.
So now when we do feel emotions, after generations of not being allowed to feel, we feel them big time.
Which can feel like a lot. And can often lead to overwhelm and numbing them out, because it all feels like too much to handle.
Generations and generations of anger, fear, grief is bubbling to the surface and we have no idea how to deal with these alien emotions. We haven’t been taught how to move through them, rather we have been taught to ‘manage’ them (that word alone send shivers down my spine).
As parents when our children cry it can make us feel so uncomfortable that we try to distract them, we’re taught to put them on the naughty step when they express their anger and even moments of happiness are short-lived.
Which is why in my view, anxiety, depression and breakdowns are at a record high.
All this I write about because I came into this world feeling it all – mine and the world’s emotions.
I still believe that feeling emotions is one of the greatest experiences of being human.
As a being who hasn’t spent many lifetimes in human form, I’ve decided to really go for it in this lifetime and feel it all to the depths of my soul.
During my childhood I felt confusion, which came out as anger, with the subsequent guilt, layered upon ancestral (German) guilt. I cried intensely, even when watching a sad movie. I also felt happy, joyful and soooo much love for everyone and everything.
Living in a family of people who had blocked out their emotions, I learned to suppress my own emotions and resorted to people-pleasing and the constant fear that one day the true me would be found out.
It wasn’t until my 30s, during my inevitable breakdown, that I learned that it was ok to allow myself to feel emotions. It was a pretty intense time, a lot of emotions needing to be felt, soul-searching and dark night of the soul journeying.
Emotions are different to feelings in that they come from trauma – and staying stuck in it.
Feelings flow through us.
So what if we could love our emotions and allow them to flow through us, rather than staying stuck in a never-ending trauma cycle of emotions? Thereby freeing our selves, our ancestors and those to come?
What if all those suppressed emotions could naturally flow through and be released?
Just like a child who is allowed to have a cry and a hug and is told she is loved and safe and after that she skippety hops off and moves on?
Imagine accepting, honouring and loving every single part of your self, including all those past selves who weren’t able to express their emotions.
If the past two years has taught us anything it’s that we can’t go back to how things used to be. Those old ways stopped working a long time ago. It’s time for change and we are a part of the change.
Change can feel scary, but it’s necessary for humanity, for us to evolve into something better.
I believe that a massive part of us evolving as a people and a planet is to feel and release emotions that have kept us stuck in trauma and in a state of victim and judge, as Don Miguel Ruiz so beautifully encapsulates in his “The Four Agreements”.
To face our shadows, look them in the eye. And love them into wholeness.
Only then can we reclaim our inner power, rather than looking for it from outside sources to fix everything, or to numb our emotions away. Until they show up again.
Do we really want to keep repeating the same old patterns of our ancestors who just didn’t know any better? Isn’t it time we created a new way of living without fear and judgment, rather with joy and collaboration?
One of the methods I use to move through the energy, or rather allow it to move through me, is EFT/Tapping while I am physically moving. I call it ‘tap and walk’. You might like to read my ‘monkey-mind’ blog for more ideas, or check out my IGTV or see my live offerings. Because one other bonus of facing my shadows and moving through the learning is to re-connect with my soul – calling me to walk alongside those on a similar path.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but oh the freedom of not staying is stuck
in those old stories and dramas, is so worth it.
It really is never too late to re-write our story.
And while we do this, know that we are never alone. As we heal our emotions the healing goes all along our timeline. Imagine your healed past selves, ancestors and those to come holding you and cheering you on and showering you with love, light and infinite gratitude.
If you have any doubts about that, this image taken at sunrise might just fill you with hope…
I leave you with a beautiful message from soul:
Even when, especially when, you feel alone, know that you are held by a myriad of light beings surrounding you, holding you, guiding you. Ask for assistance and we shall show up in human form. We are here with you now and forever more across all space and time.
If you are feeling alone, we invite you to close your eyes. Become aware of your breath. Ask for support, miracles, help to come your way. And notice the signs. We are all around if you open your eyes to see.
And so it is.