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Self-care has become a bit of a buzz word. We know that personally and as a planet we have been going at a pace that is just not sustainable. In recent years we have been forced to slow down. After being taught to work hard in order to be successful, for generation after generation, exhaustion has set in.
In various forms – physical, mental, emotional and more. From minor to major signs. For me, it started as small niggles which I ignored and which then lead to my dark night of the soul.
Finally, we are now being invited to self-care. There are so many ideas on how to ‘fit’ self-care into our lives, even for just 2 minutes, the time it takes to brush our teeth.
But as I personally journey into my crone years (the supposed wise woman!) these pockets of time aren’t enough. Ouch and even as I write this, pangs of guilt are showing up. For even thinking of taking longer time out for me. Years of conditioning makes us feel guilty for daring to take time for ourselves. Particularly as women, we are taught to put the needs of others first. Even if it means self-sacrifice. In fact, that will earn us even more brownie points, right? Because that takes us into martyrdom, which is a good thing?!
And that is when my soul whispers “Stop!”
Sacrificing our selves, our well-being for others is not a good thing.
It really is time to put our own oxygen mask on first, to fill our cup – without the guilt! From that place of fullness, we can be there for others.
So if you pause to take a breath and ask yourself
Is 2 minutes per day really enough?
To be there for others for the remaining 15 hours 58 minutes of each day?
And that’s factoring in a generous 8 hours sleep a day.
Is that 2 minutes really all the self-love we think we deserve?
And that is what it comes down to, isn’t it?
If we thought we deserved more, we would take more time for us. Instead of resorting to our people-pleasing conditioning patterns. Taught to us through generations.
What if it’s time to change these out-dated ways of thinking?
What if we too it one step further and changed the word self-care to self-love?
Because if we truly loved ourselves, would we limit ourselves to none or 2 minutes per day?
OR would we look ourselves in the eye – try it if you like – and say “I love you” and really say it from our soul.
From LOVE itself.
From that place would we make time for our selves for a little longer?
Or if that doesn’t feel possible right now, could we invite a miracle to create time to make that happen?
To do something that brings us joy.
That reminds us that we are here to live, love, laugh, sing, dance, aswell as to work.
To love our selves and love others.
Why not try the mirror exercise I mention above – just look in the mirror – fully into your eyes – for a full 2 minutes – go on, you can do it – just for a week and see what changes come into your life?
As I was preparing for my first outdoor gathering in circle last week, I discovered that in ancient times, women gathered in circle to be together. To share stories, listen, sing, dance and just be together. Not compete against each other. Celebrate each other. We gathered for a full two hours, which felt AMAZING!
And as I write this, I sigh with deep joy, some tears brewing. Perhaps a remembering.
On other days we need our cave time. To go within. To allow our emotions to flow. To journal, read, or sit in quiet. Or sing, dance to our favourite tune, like no one is watching.
And from that place of self-love, we can start to move towards a state of pure love
for ourselves those in our care.
Imagine preparing and eating food with love, rather than servitude or just another thing that needs to be done. To be fully present in whatever we are doing.
Knowing that when we are doing for others, it’s coming from a cup that is overflowing with love.
So this is just an invitation to you. That if any of this resonates, you take a little nugget into your life. With love.
I’m going to practise the 2 minutes of saying I love you in the mirror. Looking into my eyes.
And prepare for some days of self-love. Just me by the sea.
And from that place prepare to hold the space for some beautiful souls to gather – online for those who cannot meet in person and in nature – for as long as possible – to rekindle the ancient practises of coming together in circle.
To celebrate life and each other.
Sending love from my overflowing cup your way. ❤️