I discovered Tapping as a young mum of two toddlers. I was struggling. The feelings of overwhelm and rising anxiety I had felt previously and thought I had left behind, were re-surfacing.
My husband was working long hours, parents weren’t available to help much. Meeting up with antenatal class mums left me feeling like a terrible mum and alone in my struggles. I felt exhausted, overwhelmed, lonely, increasingly anxious and most of all guilty for feeling this way after years of trying to conceive our first child.
Despite having a multitude of reasons for being happy, I didn’t feel that way.
I had discovered the amazing world of complementary therapies during my dark night of the soul and pregnancy journey. Reflexology, yoga, acupuncture had all helped me then. But I felt unable to get out to see someone, which left me feeling frustrated and helpless. Meditation felt unattainable to my ever-judging mind.
So I turned to the internet for help.
It was the early days of webinars and one of the first The Tapping Solution World Summits was on. This wasn’t just some well-meaning advice to listen to and make me feel even worse because it wouldn’t work for me. This was interactive. I liked the sound of it. Having experienced reflexology and acupuncture treatments in the past, I remembered about blocked energy and meridians. And was curious to learn more during the hour my boys were napping.
The topic that day was sports performance (of course I’d missed the one for parents). And even though the topic wasn’t relevant, I felt a pull, or maybe it was sheer desperation to try anything, to listen to what they had to say.
Only about 20 minutes into the interview, the audience was invited to tap along. From the beginning I was hooked. Not even by the tapping. By the phrase we were invited to say at the start of the tapping sequence:
“Even though I feel (emotion) I love and accept myself anyway.”
I was allowed to accept myself? And the way I felt? Not pretend to be happy or grateful??
Feeling allowed to accept the way I felt was a huge moment for me.
Then came the ‘tapping’ on various parts of the head and body. It felt good. Just tapping along. Just allowing myself to feel how I felt.
Two sets or “rounds” of tapping later and I felt – better. Calmer. My shoulders maybe even felt a little less tense. I could see the tiniest chink of light at the end of the tunnel.
And there began an incredible journey.
I started to try this tapping at every opportunity. I became curious to know more. Followed experts. Used scripts initially, but when I didn’t find anything relevant, I just tapped in the moment. I accept the way I feel/I love and accept myself anyway. Just saying that combined with tapping felt like a huge relief.
During my pregnancy journey, I had thought about studying and maybe even practising one of the therapies one day. I found it that one day when I needed help. Tapping, or as I later discovered its original name Emotional Freedom Techniques gave me hope. That one day I might just feel emotionally free.
I attended a practitioner course. Which lead to advanced courses, case studies. Swaps with other practitioners. More learning. Advanced learning. Research. And tests. Something I had sworn never to take again after my university studies.
Thankfully, unlike when I was age 17 – 22 suffering from severe exam anxiety, when I saw the word ‘fail’ after the first time of taking my EFT Practitioner test, I could use EFT to release those old feelings I’d buried and literally tap into my inner confidence and knowledge.
EFT helped me, finally, resolve my exam anxiety. To connect with that part of me who felt under so much pressure to be what others expected of her. And to set her – and me – emotionally free of that pressure.
And with the increased and more in-depth learning and working with fellow practitioners, I discovered the deeper healing that EFT offered me. Clearing childhood emotional layers of anger, guilt, anxiety, fears about taking the next step, hasn’t always been easy. But I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Because part of my journey has been finding me. The real me, not the one I had felt I had to be for far too long.
I’ve discovered the real ‘me’.
The one who has a magical way of helping others feel comfortable and safe.
I see her as a mischievous and yet heartfelt 6 year old wearing a tutu with sparkly hearts, red wellies, hair in (uneven of course!) pigtails and – of course – a magic wand. She’s very magical, so happy in her own skin and bursting with love for everyone she meets. Oh and currently, she’s loving my pink hair 🙂
She looks a little like this:
For someone who used to feel anxious, stressed, overwhelmed to feel like that 6 year old sometimes feels unreal, but most of the time feels pretty magical.
All those years ago as a stressed-out mum, I would never have believed that day would be the start of a beautiful journey. For me to heal. And to help others heal. Some pretty tough emotional sh**. To feel whole again and live my potential. To remember what it feels like to be me. To become intuitive and heartfelt. To shine.
Recently, I decided I wanted to take yet another step out of my comfort zone. To become an EFT trainer. Which, of course, brought up more emotional ‘good enough’ layers for me to heal.
This certificate means more to me than the Business and French degree I studied to be the good girl. It represents something I want to do. For me and for others. As part of fulfilling my destiny, my potential. Not the potential others thought I had. Learning has become a passion.
If you feel you aren’t living your potential or are having a dark night of the soul, I invite you to be open to learning, remembering, creating. A new way of living, of being.
Not the one you feel you ‘should’ be living. No matter what age or stage of life you are.
And if you’re feeing less than, I invite you to start by accepting how you feel, maybe even loving and accepting yourself anyway. That’s the start of using EFT. Not pretending to be happy and grateful when though you’re not. Because, speaking from personal experience, accepting yourself for how you feel is a huge step forwards.
And doesn’t every little girl who’s feeling sad just need someone to acknowledge how she feels? To give her that space to feel how she’s feeling. And from that place journey towards feeling naturally grateful, maybe even happy and sparkly one day.
What would your real you look like?
What would she say to you?
Mine is giving you a big hug and lots of love. Andrea x