My mum recently passed away after 8 years of dementia. Each time I visited her witnessing her deteriorating condition, I was often overwhelmed with sadness, guilt and grief, mourning for times lost, even while she is still alive.
Until, thanks to some self-work, I realised that she was actually happy in the world she had created to feel safe. And that all she needed from me was love and companionship.
So I finally decided to stop reminiscing about the things I wished I’d said and done and enjoyed the moments just sitting with her, just allowing her – and me – to be, which previously neither of us took time to do. I’m so grateful for that realisation while she was still in her physical body.
So I’ve learned some powerful things through this shift:
To appreciate that people are on their own journey and much as we would like to change them or the situation they are in, sometimes we just need to be there for them.
To spend more time enjoying the moments with our growing teenage boys, spouse, friends.
And to be happy, not feel guilty, about being in the now. To put my mobile phone away, get out into nature and enjoy the simple things in life.
Instead of feeling the need to do.
I’m actually enjoying being alone with my thoughts, which are becoming increasingly supportive and intuitive.
That’s what letting go is doing for me.
Imagine what letting go of some low energy or thoughts could do for you…
So whether your parents are still around or not, I invite you to think of them and your relationship with them from a heartfelt space.
Knowing that you are both perfectly imperfectly human doing the best you can.