Over the last 6 years I’ve felt extreme sadness on Mother’s Day.
My mum has dementia and can no longer communicate or move without help. Each time I visited her over the past 6 six years, witnessing her deteriorating condition, I was often overwhelmed with sadness, guilt and grief, mourning for times lost, even while she is still alive.
Last week as I was thinking of her, feelings of helplessness at not being able to stop her body’s decline and the guilt over the smallest things left unsaid came rising to the service again.
Thanks to a wonderful practitioner, I was given the opportunity to finally let go of those emotions.
I now realise that she is actually happy in the world she has created to feel safe. And that all she needs from me is love and companionship.
So I’ve decided to stop reminiscing about the things I wished I’d said and done and enjoy the moments just sitting with her, just allowing her – and me – to be, which previously neither of us took time to do.
Because part of our programming as women was to look after everybody else, instead of taking time to enjoy the moment.
So I’ve learned some powerful things through this shift:
To appreciate that people are on their own journey and much as we would like to change them or the situation they are in, sometimes we just need to be there for them.
To spend more time enjoying the (increasingly briefer) moments with our growing teenage boys, my lovely husband, friends.
And to be happy, not feel guilty, about being in the now. To put my mobile phone away, get out into nature and enjoy the simple things in life.
Instead of feeling the need to do.
I’m actually enjoying being alone with my thoughts, which are becoming increasingly supportive and intuitive.
That’s what letting go is doing for me.
Imagine what letting go of some low energy or thoughts could do for you…
So whether you are or aren’t a mum or she’s still around or not, I invite you to think of her and your relationship with her, from a heartfelt space.
Knowing that you are both perfectly imperfectly human doing the best you can.